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Why I
Practice Elder Law, Part III. |
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If you have been reading our newsletter, you may recall
that in March of 2009 I wrote the second installment of Why I Practice
Elder Law. Now that a few months have passed, I would like to share the
third installment. The story now moves to my father’s family and my
great grandmother “Mamoo.” Lena Elliott was born May 30, 1884
in rural west Tennessee where her father ran the local grocery store. She
attended “McFerrin College” for elementary school (throughout
her life Mamoo told everyone that she had gone to college!).
As a young woman she was courted by my great grandfather, Tolbert Lewis
“Papoo” almost exclusively via letter. Their letters traveled
back and forth on the local train that covered the nine miles between their
respective homes. They married in 1905 and raised two daughters, Faye and
Frances (my grandmother) in Dresden, Tennessee. In the middle of WWII,
Mamoo and Papoo moved into my grandmother’s house in Knoxville to
help care for her young children and to recover from a fire that had
destroyed the family home. Both of my great grandparents lived the
remainder of their lives with my grandparents. Their arrangement is what we
now call “the sandwich generation”.
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Both of my great
grandparents lived the remainder of their lives with my grandparents. Their
arrangement is what we now call “the sandwich
generation”.
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While Mamoo was quite old when I was born, she was very
independent. She took part in all family activities including lake trips,
card playing and story telling. Mamoo provided my earliest exposure and
initial impressions of older adults. Her memory was amazing – we
both followed the Cincinnati Reds on the radio and her recollection of the
games highlights amazes me to this day. Whenever I visited, we would
discuss the latest game and she could provide me with a better play by play
analysis than any of the broadcasters. I grew up believing that just
because someone has aged does not mean that they have memory
loss.
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I grew up believing that
just because someone has aged does not mean that they have memory
loss.
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Having been born in the 1800’s, she watched the
world change, from cars and airplanes to televisions and computers. She was
a practical, down to earth woman who loved to be busy. In her later years
as her vision was failing and severe arthritis limited her activities, she
still managed to make her “puffs” as gifts every year. The
puffs were made of various colored pieces of light nylon netting. They were
pulled together with pieces of string into a sphere shape. They were quite
beautiful to look at and were wonderful to use for scrubbing pots and pans.
I learned from Mamoo that for seniors to thrive, they had to keep their
mind and hands occupied.
The making of the puffs was just one of her activities that show her love
of using her hands. Another activity was making cake. There was one cake in
particular – Mamoo’s Soggy Coconut Cake. This was a particular
treat that was made especially for Christmas. The cake was always moist and
delicious, but the process of making the cake was tedious and time
consuming. As a matter of fact, the process was so involved that my great
uncle decided to write a book about it. The process of making the cake
taught me that continuing a ritual can be very therapeutic and can help to
make it through the sometimes difficult holiday periods.
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The process of making the
cake taught me that continuing a ritual can be very therapeutic and can
help to make it through the sometimes difficult holiday periods.
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I consider my self fortunate to have known my great grandmother. None of my
friends had a great grandmother, so I was able to experience something
different and special. As with all good things though, things eventually
had to end. As Mamoo reached her mid 90s, time really took its toll on her.
The loss of vision was so great the she was basically blind. Her hearing
was almost gone, so communication was a great challenge. Her quality of
life over her last several years really suffered. Despite the challenges,
she managed to make her annual pilgrimage to her daughter’s ranch in
Florida during the last year of her life.
It was always Mamoo’s dream was to live to be 100 and she made it! We
had a huge family celebration but we all knew it was the beginning of the
end. She passed away in the summer of 1984 – 25 years ago. I loved
her dearly, but it was difficult to watch her decline. My grandmother
sacrificed so much to care for Mamoo in the home (but that’s another
story!). As a matter of fact, the only time that paid care came into the
house was on the last night of Mamoo’s life.
Lena Elliott Lewis lived a rich and rewarding life enveloped in family. Her
legacy to me was my own recognition of the value of older adults. Through
her, I realized that functional capacity may be lost but that hope is not
lost. I saw that with the help of loving and caring family members someone
can live at home even through their dying days.
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“Family
Business” |
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Our family is growing! We are delighted to announce that
Michelle Allen, LMSW has joined our practice as a geriatric care
coordinator. Michelle will join our existing care coordinator, Dawn
Houston, as we serve our client families. If you see Michelle in the
community, please take the time to introduce yourself.
Our son Peter just returned from scout camp with several weeks’ worth
of mildewed clothes. The Houston family reunion keeps growing, the crowd
looks to be over 50 people. Michaela has just returned from a beach
vacation with school friends and Dianne is preparing for a professional
conference in Chicago. We are trying to convince her to sneak in a little
sightseeing between meetings!
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 Miles Hurley
Miles Hurley is the founding partner of Hurley Elder Care Law, which was
created to provide comprehensive legal solutions for families with age-
related events.
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Continue reading » |
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Miles Hurley Presents:
Monday, 8/3/09, 7:00 – 9:00 p.m.
First Presbyterian Church
Topic: Advance Directives
Wednesday, 8/12/09, 5:30 – 7:00 p.m
Winnwood Retirement Community
Topic: “You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know.”
Residents and the public
Friday, 8/14/09
Trinity Lutheran Church
Topic: “You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know.”
Thursday, 8/20/09, 11:30 a.m. – 1:00 p.m
Marietta Pizza Company
Topic: VA Benefits
Open to social workers
8/27/09, noon – 2:00 p.m.
St. Joseph’s Hospital
Topic: “Senior Scams”
Tuesday, 9/8/09, noon – 1:00 p.m.
North Fulton Hospital
Topic: Advance Directives, VA Benefits and Medicaid
For hospital employees
Monday, 9/14/09, 10:00 – 11:30 a.m.
United Hospice social workers
Topic: Advance Directives, VA Benefits and Medicaid
Wednesday, 9/30/09, 5:00 p.m
Pasta Bella
Topic: A CEU event
10/9/09
St. Phillips’ Cathedral
Topic: Workshop on Dementia
Contact Ms. Moira Keller at
404-605-1950
Tuesday, 10/27/09, 5:30 p.m
Kennestone area
Topic: CEU event
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For event details and more information, click
here. |
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