In This Issue

	Holiday Thoughts
	If you answer yes to any of these questions, Hurley Elder Care Law can help
	Life Care Planning Goals
	The Nuts and Bolts Guide to VA Benefits

Holiday Thoughts

	As the holiday season approaches, I remember a conversation I had two years ago with Johnna Gardner, Executive Director and Licensed Clinical Social Worker at JG Options, LLC, and how the message reverberates with me once again. The message is the same, whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanzaa, or any other special holiday tradition. I will bring forth what I remember most about our talk.
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To attend our monthly Professionals’ Luncheon please call Louise Morris at 404-843-0121 or email her at lmorris@HurleyECLaw.com

If you answer yes to any of these questions, Hurley Elder Care Law can help.

		Has the elder been diagnosed with a mentally or physically debilitating disorder such as Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, ALS, stroke or a decline in functional capacity?
		Is the elder isolated due to the recent death of a spouse, or have family that either lives too far away or is too busy to provide adequate care?
		Is the elder soon to be discharged into a care facility or currently receiving in-home care?
		Does the elder have a variety of healthcare providers and need coordination and advocacy for quality care?
		Does the elder seem unusually concerned about costs of medication and services, indicating he or she may be having financial troubles?
		Does the elder have assets that fall between $50,000 and $400,000 – enough to finance a short stay in a care facility but not enough for an extended stay?
		Does the elder have a spouse whose financial needs must be considered in light of the elder’s medical condition?

Life Care Planning Goals

1. Meeting the elders’ immediate health care and long-term care needs.
2. Making sure the elder/family is making good health care and long-term care decisions.
3. Helping the elder/family sort through the maze of their long-term care options including residential options.
4. Identifying and accessing public benefits and resources to pay for care should the elder meet the qualifying criteria.
5. Help with asset management, including the burden of home ownership and personal property.
6. Providing the entire family the peace of mind that comes from knowing their loved one is monitored by a team that combines legal and financial expertise with specialized knowledge of the elder’s physical, mental and emotional health.
7. Ensuring the highest level of independence the elder can achieve, while ensuring safety.

Holiday Thoughts

It is the season for which a plan is the key to face the holiday season and all of its expectations. The plan is to help people understand that the holiday is what we make of it since we all go through changes in our lives. Some can’t go home to mama’s house this holiday and for others the significant meaning can be tarnished by death of a loved one or having a family member overseas. Tragedy can change how we feel about celebrating so not only do we need a plan, we have to have plan “B” and plan “C” because our lives aren’t as predictable as they used to be. Caregiving and jobs certainly can interfere with “what used to be.” Some of the fun is making the plan; it should be simple and doable and involve as many family members as possible. Flexibility is as important as having input and ideas from everyone. This could be the year to spend the holiday in a different place as families move around and grow. We also need to be at peace that not everyone will be available all the time. Simplifying meals can be a part of the plan. Letting the supermarkets do a lot of the work helps as much as going out for a meal. As we age, we take a different role and others step in to help. We want to watch out for older people feeling guilty that they are not the whole picture and instead take a backseat to holiday preparations. For mom who used to do it all herself, we especially want to make her feel a significant part of the action by being given a role suitable to her current energy level. We need to ask our elders what their expectations are now that things have changed. It needs to be a fun time for those taking on a new role. The fun of traditions is that they can change. They can be looked upon as positive growth even though new traditions may be caused by very difficult reasons. Once again, the plan is how we need to approach the traditional season. To make this season work, make sure that there aren’t too many idle hours during the holidays. Some of us do not have a large family or any family at all. Be active by participating in seasonal events: watching holiday programs, doing parades, writing cards, visiting acquaintances, joining carolers, or finding someone who needs help. At the same time, watch out for fatigue and the blues sneaking in which can steal our energy. We have to be positive about what we can control because negative things can set us up for a lonely holiday season. Reach out into the community. There are numerous organizations, neighbors, churches and senior groups through which we can meet others and lend a hand. At the same time as we are helping others, we will be helped tenfold. Be assertive to find someone who might be having a difficult time. It is hard to ask for help and that someone having a difficult time might be one of us. People reach out if they know the circumstances. Reminiscence is a big issue. It can make us sad, but remember that being sad is a choice. Enjoy the feeling of reminisce and the fond memories it brings rather than feeling sad that a memory is only that. Choice – focus on positives. Gift yourself. It can be simple. We are always thinking of what we will give others, but sometimes we have to take time out for our own pleasures. An afternoon nap or a calm, peaceful bath can be gifts that replenish. Listening to a favorite CD, meditation, or a pedicure can de-stress as well. We can even de-stress others as a gift; try canceling a meeting or an obligation they might have. Celebrate today’s joy. Instead of focusing on the “big day,” learn to enjoy the days of preparation. Look for smiles and generosity, watch children at play, observe a children’s program, be part of a group that is observing and not doing. Then ignore the traffic and long lines. Slow down, don’t sneak into a parking space in front of another, and watch others share the moment. Let elders know that they matter. Some may think they have lost their purpose because they can’t do all they used to do. The older adults are part of our legacy; we need to let children know them and understand that the elders make up a big part of our life just by being there, not by doing things. We might not have the matriarch or patriarch there any more, it isn't the way it used to be, but the memories are still there. That is the reason for open traditions and flexibility. Happy holidays are ours if we make a plan, simplify, do less, fill up days, are alert to our bodies, allow others to know our needs, reminisce, gift others and ourselves, reach out, change traditions, focus on the positive, and be resilient. Also, share love with friends and family. I think that all of these thoughts are spot on. They really came to life for me over the Thanksgiving weekend. I took my family to Tennessee to see the extended family, including my soon to be 97 year old great-grandmother. We made the trip low key, without any real schedule for events. My boys had a great time playing with cousins, but I think that they were most happy just to see and to know their great-grandmother. The trip was great for all of us and my great-grandmother had a wonderful gleam in her eye, from just having visitors around. Take some time and just go to see your family members…it is well worth the effort.